Yielding
by Bobbie23
Summary: What's better? Knowing or not knowing? Originally a one shot but I think it deserved a second chapter.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – I don't own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit or any of the characters.

Yielding

'"_I wish I could help you" I whisper.' ― __Simone Elkeles__, __Rules of Attraction_

Olivia had just finished washing up when the knock sounded through the apartment and Olivia smiled at the familiar rap of her partner. She wiped her hands on a towel before glancing around the apartment, walking backwards towards her front door. She shook her head lightly as she realised what she had done. She wasn't messy but her apartment was lived in, and Elliot had seen it in varying states, he didn't care about it. She turned as she reached the door and double checked the peep hole before unlatching the lock. She pulled the door open and Elliot peeked around the door curiously out of habit while tucking his phone in his pocket.

"Everything okay?" Olivia asked nodding at the phone.

"Yeah, Kathleen keeps texting me," Elliot said lifting the pizza box in his other hand. "I got double pepperoni and onion. You hungry?"

"Yes," she held the door open for him. "Kathleen probably just wants to speak to you."

"I don't know," he said dismissively, hanging his coat on the hook by the door.

Olivia hid her frown by turning to lead Elliot into her living room where she had laid out the movies they intended to watch. Elliot set the pizza box down on the coffee table and Olivia watched his movements for a moment. They'd finished a hard case early this morning and neither of them felt like drowning their sorrows at a bar, but they didn't feel like being alone either.

"D'you want a beer?"

"Sure," he agrees as his phone vibrates in his pocket signalling another message.

Elliot retrieves it with a sigh and Olivia backs away to her kitchen, giving him privacy to answer it. She's reaching into the fridge when she hears him he huff out a breath, only barely concealing a chuckle. Her eyebrow quirks as she hides her expression as she leans down to grab the beers from a lower shelf. When she rights herself Olivia turns to find Elliot still focused on his phone as he typed a reply to his middle daughter.

"Choose a film yet?" Elliot asked replacing his phone into his pocket again.

"You choose, I don't mind," Olivia replied handing over a beer. She twisted the cap off of her own and took a swig.

"Thanks," Elliot said as he chose the top case, probably not bothering to check what it was.

It didn't matter because they rarely watched the film the few times they've done this, it usually served as back ground noise. It's been six months since Elliot and Kathy finally signed their divorce papers, agreeing amicably on their shared custody of Eli, with the older children coming and going as they wished. Olivia had been preparing herself in case Elliot broke down like he did the last time, he hasn't. Elliot hasn't talked to her about the divorce but he didn't shut her out when she asked if he was sure about it. If Olivia was honest with herself the situation felt different than last time. There was less pressure and neither of them felt like running. Olivia heeded the advice Kathy gave her last time when everything was falling apart and she's given him the stability he needed to get through the divorce.

After finishing their pizza they stared blankly at the screen neither really paying attention. Olivia was just taking a sip of beer when Elliot's phone buzzed again. She sputtered lightly as he grumbled while he shifted to reach for it. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he stared at his illuminated screen. He laughed and shook his head gently at whatever audacious message he had been sent.

"What?" Olivia asked her curiosity getting the better of her. If Elliot didn't want her to know, he would have hidden the messages from her and not openly react to them.

"Kathleen again, she thinks she's funny," Elliot replied, his proud tone belying his words as he shut off his phone without replying. He looks up at her, contemplating for a moment half turning towards her. "She's trying to encourage me to start dating."

Olivia tried to hide her shock. He had been officially single for six months and to anyone on the outside looking in it would seem normal for him to start dating. Though the thought made Olivia uneasy but she had no right to say anything.

"Do you want to?" Olivia asked.

Elliot let out a sigh, his arms folding over his lap. "I don't know."

"You're not ready," Olivia offered. "What about Kathy?"

"She started dating Phillip before we signed the papers."

Olivia already knew that and every time she heard it she was surprised how easily those words fell from his lips. She wanted Elliot to elaborate without her asking him to, she wanted him to want to tell her.

"I don't know," Elliot admitted.

"About what? You dated last time," Olivia prodded gently despite the sour taste the words left in her mouth.

"It's not about whether or not I want to date," he sighed, fidgeting and looking away from her uncomfortably. She didn't expect him to explain further and she looked to the screen, assuming the conversation was over. She tensed when she heard him clear his throat. "I, uh, I just keep waiting for them to blame me."

Olivia turned sideways, tucking a leg beneath her, on the sofa to look at him. "Blame you?"

"For the divorce," Elliot explained with a shrug. "But they're not."

"Because they realise no one is to blame Elliot," she said reassuringly. "It was mutual."

Elliot paused and she half expected him to admit that it wasn't. That he'd only gone along with because it was what Kathy wanted, that he'd spent the last six months thinking of ways of reconciling with his ex-wife, that Olivia had read his behaviour wrong.

"It was," Elliot finally agreed with a nod of his head and Olivia couldn't help but feel relieved.

"Then what's this about?"

"Apart from the odd harassing message," he gestured at his pocket. "They're not spending time with me, not talking to me. Well Eli is, but the older ones…" Elliot shook his head.

"I don't think that has anything to do with the divorce, I think it's more to do with them growing up and leading their own lives. You did say Kathleen was encouraging you to start dating. Would she do that if she had a problem with the divorce?"

"No," Elliot sighed. He looked away again, rubbing his hand over his mouth awkwardly before gesturing between them, lowering his voice. "She says this is a date."

"Oh," she replied sitting up straighter.

"See, it bothers you too."

"You're bothered by it," Olivia reiterated unable to keep her frown out of her voice. She pushed herself from the sofa, taking their spent bottles and used napkins. She busied herself with throwing the bottles in the recycling and the napkins in the trash before grabbing two more beers from the fridge. His problem isn't about dating, it's about dating her. She spins around to find Elliot standing behind her, watching her.

"You're bothered by it," Elliot repeated softly, stepping closer.

"I don't know how to respond to it," Olivia relented. It's a tough subject for them, professionally as well as personally.

"You think I do?" Elliot responded with a consoling smile. It's small and self-conscious, surprising Olivia with his openness regarding his response to his daughter's teasing. Elliot waits a beat to see if she'll respond. "I shouldn't have said anything."

As Olivia offers him a new beer she can't help but be disappointed in him for dropping the subject. She had been too focused on the difference in Elliot's attitude towards his divorce that she hadn't been expecting this to be an issue. Of course she was aware of the rumours; it was hard not to overhear things in the squad room, locker room, the crib…

Elliot twists the cap off his beer and she realises he's looking at her expectantly. He doesn't drink just watches her back. He lowers the bottle slowly; his concentration is unwavering. It's unnerving. Elliot doesn't intimidate her, he's not trying to. They've known each other too long.

Her pulse speeds up but she schools her expression despite the quandary he's placed her in. Elliot is silent, but she can't shake the lilt of regret she heard in his voice. His open expression is tinged with something she doesn't want to identify, maybe she's scared to. Elliot is waiting for her to either decide how this conversation is going to go or end it now.

"It doesn't matter Elliot," Olivia told him, following his lead and she can see the disappointment in his expression she felt moments ago. But avoidance is familiar, safer territory for them. Sometimes she wishes one of them was brave enough to take this conversation further.

"It matters," Elliot replied. Apparently he didn't want it to end.

He seems closer than he is and Olivia wants to step back, but she stands her ground. "It doesn't, not when there's one way this conversation can end Elliot. There's no point in discussing it when there's only one option."

She has no idea what has gotten into him, why he's choosing to be stubborn about _this_ now. In the past they've silently agreed not to bring this up, to brush it aside casually when people are bold enough to ask them about it. She knows it irritates Elliot; it was more difficult for him to hide his frustration when people asked him about it. She always assumed it was because he didn't want anyone questioning his commitment to Kathy. Maybe the idea of dating her really did bother him. Shaking her head at the futility of the conversation Olivia steps around Elliot making sure to leave enough space so not to touch him.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees him turn, but doesn't hear him follow as she pushes forward towards the sofa, determined to move on from the subject.

"My problem is that there's only one option and I want more than one," Elliot tells her in a voice that makes her stop. She focuses on her window, anything but at him.

"Elliot," she grinds out. Olivia's confused and she wants him to stop even though there's part of her which wants him to ignore her warning.

"I know that you don't want to talk about it. I just want you to know it's not about you. And I want to be able to tell you that without worrying about you leaving."

"Elliot," she warns again but it lacks the emphasis it did before and it comes out more like a sigh. She doesn't refute his barely veiled accusation, because this conversation is making her nervous and the impulse to walk away is steadily building. "Why are you doing this?"

"It needs saying. I don't want there to be any confusion about why I'm bothered about this." He exhales loudly and she stubbornly faces away from him. "I've thought about it."

Her eyes slam shut and her fist tightens around the top of her bottle, the cap cutting into her hand. "Stop."

His feet move, padding softly over the carpet towards her, stopping behind her leaving a gap so not to invade her personal space. "I'm sorry," Elliot said his voice too loud in her ear.

"I don't want to make this an issue." She doesn't admit to thinking about it. She has. A guarded fantasy which she's pushed deep down inside of her because she knew it would never happen for them, it couldn't. Not just because he had been married for the majority of their partnership, because of the job. Elliot is her partner and this would ruin them.

"I'm s-"

"Stop apologising, I shouldn't have asked about Kathleen's messages," Olivia cuts him off.

Elliot huffs out a breath. "She doesn't understand."

"This isn't about her Elliot. She wants you to be happy, and too her being happy means dating."

"Yeah," he agreed half-heartedly. "I'm happy with how things are between us and I didn't want anything to mess that up, not even my daughter's teasing."

"It's not going to," Olivia promises her voice sounds empty even to her. Elliot was right, things were good. They barely argued lately and neither of them felt the same burden they did the last time Elliot separated from Kathy. The finality of the divorce wasn't scary for them.

"Really?"

She can hear the fear in his voice and knows what he's thinking. He's afraid she's going to run, distance herself from him after this conversation. "Really," Olivia promises again while slowly turning to face him. His hands are on his hips and his eyes are cast downwards. He looks scared. "We're fine Elliot."

He raises his head, looking doubtful. He stares back at her, as if expecting her to go back on her words. His eyes soften and he takes a step towards her. From his expression Olivia knows what he intends to do, it's the same look he's given her the other times he's hugged her. Even though it's a bad idea at the worst possible time Olivia can't help it when she steps forward into his arms which encase her gently. They both need the comfort and reassurance.

Elliot is holding her loosely and she can get out of his embrace if she wanted to. Olivia hesitantly lifts her arms and slides them around his waist. He sighs into her hair and tightens his arms, pulling her against his chest, her chin tucking over his shoulder. She presses her head against his, their cheeks touching, her eyes slipping shut.

She wonders why they've decided to torture themselves like this, why they find comfort like this with each other when this is what's tormenting them. She wants to know why they picked tonight to bring this up.

"Sometimes I wish we could do this more often," Elliot says into her ear.

"We can't," Olivia mumbles. Neither of them makes any effort to pull back and it's lasting longer than the other hugs they've shared. Elliot clears his throat loudly.

"I don't know what to do here," he admits gravely.

"What do you want to do?"

Olivia's chin dips and she pulls her head away slightly and turns it toward his. She doesn't know why she's yielding to the pull between them. She should be putting distance between them because she instinctively knows what Elliot wants. She wonders what is better; knowing or not knowing; whether they would be able to stop if they kissed once. She would never push Elliot away because there is part of her that wants to know as well. He doesn't answer her just moves his head deliberately, cautiously.

"Elliot," she whispers, prompting him into action. She can feel his breath on her skin as he takes her utterance as the invitation it is.

Elliot leans in closer, pausing to allow her to back off if she wanted to. When she didn't he closed the distance and pressed his lips against hers, unmoving for a few seconds as if he's testing the feel of her. If they're only going to do this once, Olivia decides she wants to know. She pushes her body closer to his as she breaks the kiss briefly only to nudge her lips against his, her mouth parting to capture his lower lip lightly causing him to moan.

Elliot shifts his feet, somehow bringing them closer as his palms flatten against her back to hold her in place. He follows her lead and deepens the kiss himself, running his tongue against her lip and she opens her mouth to him. Olivia lifts a hand from his waist to cup his jaw, deepening the kiss.

They lose track of time and their hands begin to roam, grasping and caressing, allowing themselves this moment if it's the only one. Elliot's hand passes over the small of her back, skimming the hem before slipping underneath. She inhales sharply, her back flinching unintentionally from the sensation of his warm, strong hand on her skin. She pushes herself into him, kissing him harder to assure him he didn't do anything wrong.

The kiss ends too soon because of the lack of air. Pulling back they breathe deeply causing their chests to brush against one another. The adrenaline ebbs slowly, the moment is lost. Their eyes meet and Olivia can see her own longing and sadness reflected back at her. He lifts his chin and presses a kiss to her forehead.

"This is a bad idea," Elliot tells her his lips moving against her skin.

"I know."

"I don't want to lose you because of one kiss."

"You're not going to," Olivia promises. "At least we know," she continues sadly.

She regrets stopping, regrets knowing, it would have been better to keep wondering. She reluctantly shakes off his hands and he lets her, stepping back when she does. Olivia sits on the arm of her sofa watching as Elliot rests one hand on his hip and rubs his forehead with the other. She reaches behind her and grabs the remote to turn the television off.

Olivia turns back to find him staring back at her and she offers him a consoling smile which he returns. The pull is still there, will still be there in the morning when they're sitting across from one another.

Tomorrow.

"Do you want me to go?" Elliot asked quietly.

Her brow creases with confusion. She doesn't want him to leave, nor does she want to leave. She shakes her head slowly. "No."

'"_You are," he murmurs against my knee. "Just don't leave me, okay? Everyone leaves me."'  
>― <em>_Simone Elkeles__, __Rules of Attraction_

**Author Note - reviews are greatly appreciated, so if you have the time please let me know any thoughts you have.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR NOTE – Before you say it, I know I said it was only going to be a ONE SHOT. I lied. I'm hoping chapter two will appease those of you who asked for more. Also I am going to take a short break from my ongoing stories, **_**Healing Wounds**_** and **_**Possession**_**, probably another week or two (three at the most). I want to get a couple of chapters written for each before I post the next one so I have a bit more clarity on where exactly they're going. I hope you'll accept this offering as an apology for any delay.**

**Just a reminder of where we left Olivia and Elliot at the end of the last chapter, she told him not to go, so he stayed. **

**WARNING – M-RATED. If you're a minor or uncomfortable with that kind of material please do not read beyond this point. **

Yielding – chapter two

"_**The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final **__**surrender**__**; because this kiss already has within it that **__**surrender**__**.**__**"**_

_**Emil Ludwig **_

_"Do you want me to go?" Elliot asked quietly._

_Her brow creases with confusion. She doesn't want him to leave, nor does she want to leave. She shakes her head slowly. "No."_

As soon as the word slipped out of her mouth Elliot's hand was encircling her neck, cupping the back of her head, tilting it upwards as he bends forward to kiss her again. She yields to his pull and kisses him back matching his passion as she rises blindly so the position is less awkward. Elliot's hand releases her neck and slides over her shoulder and down her back to pull her to him. His fingers trace her spine and she shivers involuntarily. She moans and deepens the kiss, their tongues clashing.

"Stay," she tells him between kisses.

"I think leaving will be the problem after this. We should stop before that happens," Elliot mumbles against her lips. His actions contradict his words as he grips her waist tighter, his lips sealing over hers.

"We should," she agrees out of habit but she doesn't pull away. Any doubts she had moments ago about this fly out of her head; all she can think of is that she wants this to happen. She wants this, even if it's just once and they go back to being just partners in the morning. She hopes it alleviates the tension, hopes it won't complicate things. A little voice in the back of her head warns her it's not that simple, she knows it's not and usually she would listen, she follow her instincts but she wants this.

She deserves it, they deserve it.

They've ignored it because neither of them wanted to cross his wedding vows, they weren't those people. That barrier, along with his ring, is gone, has been for months. And she's tired of not giving into her attraction to him. Apparently Elliot was too.

Elliot's hands move to the hem of her shirt, sliding it up, exposing a small slither of skin. He doesn't make any effort to touch that area though. As much as he wants this he's not going to do anything she doesn't want him to. She knows he's waiting for her to make that decision for them, make the first move. So she does. Her hands slide down and boldly slip under his shirt, his stomach contracting away from her cool hands before relaxing again. They settle against his abdomen, her splayed fingers feeling his muscles as she breaks away from his kiss to watch her hands through the fabric before she removes them to grasp the hem and pulls it up over his head. His forehead meets hers. He's breathing deeply, breathing her in. She eyes his bare torso, licking her lips quickly. This is their pause. They can still walk away from this. She doesn't want to.

"I want you to stay," Olivia tells him, and it comes out as half a groan.

Her heartbeat is pounding in her ears and she barely hears him when he murmurs something about her bedroom. He breaks contact with her and then his lips brush her forehead and he breathes in a shaky breath. Maybe he's the one who's having second thoughts. She half expects him to voice them, be the voice of reason. She tenses but the words never come. His hands massage her back lightly to reassure her.

"I'm not leaving," he promises gravely, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

That's when it hits her. She's never been with anyone who could anticipate her thoughts, someone who knows what she's thinking. Their reluctance isn't just about his former wife, his children, or their jobs, but their fear of being with someone who knows them completely, having nothing to hide behind. She's petrified of someone knowing her like that. They've been comfortable with each other for months and she likes where their friendship is.

She doesn't want a night in her bed to ruin them.

Olivia shakes her head, trying to ignore the enormity of what they're about to do, trying to be brave enough to go through with it. They both know this could rip them apart, she doesn't want history to repeat itself, doesn't want to go back to how things were the last time he separated from Kathy, doesn't want to have to distance herself from him because she spent the night with him.

"Say something Liv," Elliot whispers warily, threatening.

Her silence is worrying him. Neither of them is forth coming when it comes to discussing emotions or their pasts. But it's always been easier to talk to him than anyone else even when she didn't want. Right now she's not comfortable with talking to him so she doesn't.

Her lips find his quickly and latch on as he moans in response, accepting her non-verbal answer. His hands at the small of her back pull her forward and she crashes into his bare chest. Recovering from the impact quickly she settles against him as she winds her arms around his neck. His hands become bolder and begin to caress over her shirt. The fabric bunches under his fingers; he's taking his time, timidly. She almost laughs as she thinks she might have to take off her own shirt.

To suppress the chuckle she pulls his lower lip between hers and sucks gently, nipping softly with her teeth. The distraction doesn't quite work when he moans and she lets a snicker escape. He's usually in control of everything, strong and reliable. It's endearing to see him this hesitant and that is the only thought she allows herself to have because she doesn't want to think about whether he was this shy with Kathy. He's got five children who prove he wasn't.

Thankfully he doesn't take offense and lets loose a small laugh of his own. Olivia can see the slight confusion in the depth of his blue eyes when she pulls back slightly. Maybe it's the absurdity of the situation, the quick change of minds, doing something they've fought against for such a long time, relief for finally surrendering.

Despite the confusion his eyes twinkle with slight embarrassment as he glancing between them, assessing his semi clothed state then glances at Olivia fully clothed form. She laughs harder, louder, and she blushes when his confusion gives way to an adoring smile. Her hands release him and reach for the bottom of her shirt. His hands close over hers and they both still and his eyes bore into hers knowingly. Determination sets in his face and her hands slip out from under his and he curls his fingers under the fabric and slides it up over her chest. Her arms rise to aid him and soon the top is over her head and he quickly throws it in the direction of the couch before his hands skim along the outside of her arms in an attempt to warm her.

Her skin prickles from the cool air. His hands brush hers briefly before returning to her waist and pulling her back to him. Part of her is tempted to make a comment about body heat but she holds her tongue as he places a quick chaste kiss on her lips before trailing kisses on her neck. She tilts her head back for better access. Elliot places open mouthed kisses down the column of her throat, sucking at her sensitive skin. The moan starts low in her throat as his teeth nibble her collar bone before moving back up to the sensitive spot behind her ear. Her whole body arches into it. Elliot's hands begin to move slowly up her sides and her chest tightens in anticipation.

Elliot breaks away from her neck as one of his index fingers traces the edge of her bra. His ragged breathing gets shakier, maybe it's hers, maybe it's theirs mingling. The break is momentary as Elliot kisses her lips quickly, deeply. He becomes bolder, his hand cupping the underside of her breast through the fabric. She draws in a sharp breath at the contact. It's then she remembers they're still in her living room.

"Bedroom," Elliot repeats as if reading her mind. Whereas she didn't hear it clearly before, now it's almost too loud.

She nods, moaning an affirmative. They walk together locked in their embrace, him forwards, her backwards, towards her bedroom. Years of walking side by side and predicting the others movements makes their short journey easier as they don't stumble or pause while exchanging kisses. Her back hits her bedroom door and she leans against it when Elliot's mouth fuses to hers as his hand wraps around the handle and turns it, releasing the lock. His other forearm braces her back so she doesn't fall when the door swings away from her.

They are chest to chest as they walk to her bed. The back of her legs hit the mattress and she sinks to sit then lie back. Her head rests on the mattress and she realises she never made her bed this morning, but there isn't time for her to be embarrassed as the mattress dips when Elliot places a knee then the other on the mattress either side of her. He hovers over her, taking her in. Olivia looks away self-consciously and Elliot proves he knows her better than anyone as he cups her jaw, turning her focus back to him.

"You still here?" He asks.

Her voice catches and she bobs her head. "Yeah, I'm still here."

He takes her answer at face value and kisses her gentler than before. Elliot knows a kiss won't make everything better and that's why she allows it instead of retreating further into her head. Olivia lifts her chin to meet him, deepening the kiss while hooking an arm around his neck to keep him there. Their tongues meet, clash, and the intensity builds. She hums in agreement when he cups her breast again, his thumb brushing her nipple that's protruding through the plain functional garment she chose after her shower before he arrived earlier. She needs more; she knows Elliot does too as she feels him through their clothes from where the lower halves of their torsos are pressed together.

She wants more.

Elliot's hand becomes more insistent, more demanding. Olivia pushes into his touch, wanting this as much as he does. Suddenly his hand releases her and then slides underneath her back to the clasp of her bra. He doesn't hesitate as he snaps it open and hurriedly pulls the straps off her arms, throwing it hastily onto the floor.

Olivia takes the opportunity to work on Elliot's belt, unsnapping it before working on his jeans button. She's got the zip lowered before Elliot's on top of her again and he's holding her bare breast, his mouth closing over the nipple and sucking gently. A gasp escapes her and she bucks up almost dislodging him but he manages to steady himself, chuckling at her urgency. Her chin tilts and her eyes connect to his mirth filled eyes. He smiles against her flesh, and begins kissing his way back to her lips, keeping eye contact the entire time.

This time they kiss languidly. Olivia blindly grips the waist band of his jeans and pushes them over his hips. He's reluctant to pull away from her but he stands to finish taking them off. Olivia scoots further onto the bed, supporting herself on her elbows as she watches him toe off his shoes and removes his socks before pushing the jeans down his legs. He waits at the edge of the bed standing in just his boxers, watching her pointedly as she reclines on the bed. She pulls her lower lip between her teeth coyly allowing her gaze to drift over him lazily. He sniggers at her exaggerated leer and Olivia sighs as she extends her hands to the fastenings of her trousers.

Olivia has them undone and is pushing them down when Elliot leans over her and dislodges her hands and begins to pull. She lifts her hips to aid him in sliding them down her legs, taking her shoes off with them.

Elliot kneels on the bed again, kissing her while his hands caress her, finally free to roam. Olivia lifts her hands to explore. It's intimate and playful as they learn what makes the other sigh, moan, groan, or hum. Elliot's fingers toy with the band of her underwear, dipping lower to touch her. She sighs when he feels how ready she is for him. Soon she is lifting her hips again as he tugs the material down her legs. He starts to lower himself to the floor but she doesn't need that right now and she grips his shoulders, urging him to stand and she scoots to the edge and pulls at his boxers. They drop to the floor and Elliot kicks them off. Olivia eyes his defined abs and straining member as she leans towards her bedside table. She makes a garbled grumble sound when she can't quite reach. Elliot sees her struggle and reaches over to open the draw, grabbing a foil packet from the box he finds there. Olivia knows he may not have used them with Kathy, but they are a prerequisite for her. He doesn't question it.

Olivia pushes back to the middle of the bed. He's joining her quickly, the foil packet discarded briefly onto a pillow as Elliot kneels between her legs and reaches for the packet but Olivia grabs it and tears it open and rolls it down his length. Unable to stop herself she moves her hand over him once more to tease him, eliciting a hiss from him and her pulls her hand away.

"Not going to last long if you do that," he warns her throatily.

"Do you want to stop?" Olivia asks cocking an eyebrow.

"No," Elliot shakes his head slowly, his eyes studying her for long moment to see if she's serious.

Olivia wraps an arm around his shoulders to reassure him she isn't and pulls him down to her. He slides against her. Both of them moan at the contact, tensing in preparation. Olivia lifts her head, capturing Elliot's mouth.

"Please," she says into his mouth.

Elliot nods and his hand grasps her leg, lifting it and hooking it over his hip to give him more room as he presses against her core and slides inside. He pauses to allow her to get used to him but Olivia uses her leg to urge him to move. He sets a slow pace to begin with, speed increasing when she starts to move with him encouraging him to move quicker.

They maintain eye contact, bewildered by the sensations coursing through them. After a few moments the intensity of their stare becomes too much for Elliot and he drops his head into the crook of her neck, nibbling and sucking on her flesh. Her eyes slide shut in relief. It's bittersweet as she realises this might be the only time they're together. Maybe that's why he had to stop looking at her. Elliot lifts up and Olivia reopens her eyes at the loss of his warmth. Brown eyes meet blue and Olivia is scared he's going to stop and walk away. He doesn't, just hooks her legs around him tighter, pushing himself deeper. She grunts at the movement.

Elliot's hand stays on her thigh, holding her to him as he begins to roll towards the head of the bed. She goes with him, keeping connected and rises above him. He gives her a knowing smile and she wonders how he knew she favoured this position. Olivia settles onto him and then starts to move her hips, building up her rhythm. At first Elliot guides her waist, his fingertips brushing the underside of her breasts. He grasps them softly, twirling her protruding nipples.

Elliot sits up suddenly, one arm wrapping around her, encouraging her movements while he starts kissing her breasts, his teeth scraping on her sensitive buds. She almost forgets about his other hand until she feels it where they're joined, seeking out her clit and sending a jolt of pleasure through her. He manipulates it sensually till she is panting for breath, fighting against her impending orgasm because she doesn't want this to end just yet. She's moving faster because she can't help it. Then Elliot is bucking up into her frantically.

"Let go Olivia," he grunts out through clenched teeth. "We've got all night," he tacks on.

A few more deep thrusts are all it takes for them both to climax, crying out as they reach their peak. Elliot collapses back on to the mattress and Olivia slumps over him, her hair cascading over his chest. He holds her against his contracting chest. His heart is thumping next to her ear, strong and quick.

Her face is turned away from him and she's glad for the small amount of privacy. She needs time to compose herself before facing him, before she starts to retreat behind that façade again, the one he sees through. Elliot's heartbeat starts to even out and she tries not to tense in his embrace as she prepares herself for the inevitable.

Elliot's fingers comb through her hair tenderly, tucking it behind her ear. She can feel his gaze on her but she refuses to look at him just yet. She's not ready. He exhales a breath as his fingertips trail down her jaw to her chin, tilting it toward him. She doesn't fight him, propping her chin directly over his heart.

Sometimes Olivia wishes their lives were different or that they were different people. She wonders if this will ruin them in the morning, if it hasn't already, if she'll be able to meet his eyes without thinking about him in her bed.

"Do you want me to go?" Elliot asked quietly.

"No," she croaks out. "We've got all night."

"_**I wonder if pain comes from surrendering or resisting?"  
>― <strong>__**Donna Lynn Hope**_

**Author Note – do you forgive me for not leaving this as a one shot?**


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